Writing my current novel has been an on-again, off-again love affair for years. I would have days where I seem committed to it, and I felt nothing could break my momentum. Then a few weeks or months go by and my unfinished draft goes untouched, gathering digital dust in a folder on my computer. Now that I’ve managed to gradually overcome the hurdles stopping me from writing, regardless of how much I still doubt if what I’m doing is still worth the effort of pursuit, I’ve gotten into a writing routine that has worked and helped me immensely in the last few months.
There’s always something about finishing one year and entering a new one that makes people reflective about their life and the state of the world thus far. The ending of 2019 is particularly meaningful because it marks the conclusion of one decade as we transition into another. I’m amazed that so much time has passed. I can barely remember all the things that have happened in the last 10 years, but one thing I know for certain is that there have been plenty of highs and lows that have impacted me personally and molded me into the woman I continue becoming.
I am by nature a quiet and introspective kind of person. When I am alone, I’m often found going deep within to reflect on any number of things––myself, people, and situations I may encounter in my day to day life. If you were to get inside my head, it’s constantly swimming in thoughts and emotions I’m trying to process. This is why I tend to keep and write personal journals. It’s an outlet to pour whatever I feel or think in written form. The pages become a vessel to unburden myself from the noise and crowding in my head that may have gotten too difficult to carry for a long period of time. It’s also a form of writing that helps heal me and pushes me to honestly and critically assess myself as I am now and who I still want to be in the future. Among my inner reflections lately has included the ongoing struggle of writing and finishing my novel.