An Unconventional Video Game Progress Report With A Dash Of Honesty

Challenges don’t really scare me. I take them on because I’m either trying to prove something to myself or there’s something I want to accomplish. Video game challenges are obviously smaller and won’t have a huge impact on my life, whether I finish them or not. Yet, I keep doing them because they’re a fun kind of challenge and it keeps me focused on completing one video game at a time. Unfortunately, I may have juggled too many balls in the air for almost two months to get my current challenge done.

pw_trialstribulationsTwo months is a reasonable amount of time, at least I thought it was, to finally mark Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations off my list of backlog games to finish. I made good progress in the beginning. I finally finished the case entitled Recipe for Turnabout and moved onto playing the next case Turnabout Beginnings. As I tried to dutifully keep playing this game in the Ace Attorney series, between going on vacation and then coming back to readjust to regular life again, a number of things started coming up that has a considerable impact on my personal life and others that are less than so. Let me explain.

I’ve reached a profound epiphany of sorts in the past few months. Maybe it’s the symptom of getting older and reaching a huge milestone in the aging process, but I’ve been taking stock of my life and thinking about where I want to go and how I can take steps in achieving those goals. Among those goals is writing and finishing a novel. Writing has always been a passion of mine ever since I discovered I really enjoyed writing stories when I took a stab at writing my own Sailor Moon fanfiction in my mid-teens into my early twenties, a time where the fandom was still at the pinnacle of popularity.

I can’t say my writing was particularly good. Looking back on it, I think it was pretty awful. This still didn’t stop me from enjoying the process of creating new stories and listening to the feedback I got from readers who read what I wrote on the fanfiction websites. College afforded me to take creative writing classes and potentially consider creating my own original stories without using something already created as my base, while constantly practicing and improving on my writing style in the process. After I graduated college, I began writing a novel but the hardships and reality of life when you’re no longer a student began to catch up with me. I shelved away the novel I started writing to deal with the difficulties I had at the time and those struggles eventually sapped any ounce of motivation and passion to continue doing anything remotely creative. The very thing that once made me happy barely was enough to sustain that desire to continue with the goal I wanted to accomplish and see where it would take me when I did. This didn’t mean I hated writing. The spark was still there, and it eventually led me to creating this blog in the first place, but I really had no clue how to find my way back to writing until it was all I ever thought about. Creatively speaking.

When I took the time to reflect on what I have achieved in my life and what I still wanted to achieve, it ultimately led me back to the novel I started writing about six years ago but never finished. I realized if this is a goal I still wanted for myself, why am I still holding myself back from trying again? It’s easy to answer that question. I was scared, really out of practice in using my imagination to write the world and characters I envisioned, and a little lazy. What I’m trying to say by being really honest and personal, dear readers, is I’m currently getting back into being serious about writing this novel and it will ultimately be a challenge to make time for video games and other leisure pursuits from now on.

Achieving this goal is no easy task and I’m still trying to work out a strict and consistent schedule to keep the writing an important part of my daily routine. However, this blog is still important to me too and I’ll do my best to keep updating and writing the kind of content you enjoy reading from me every Monday evening.

The other factor playing into why I failed at completing my two month challenge was being distracted by another video game. This is where the less profound aspect of my failure comes in. I received Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor for the Xbox One as a birthday gift a few months ago. Staring at the unopened video game and remembering how one of my friends enjoyed the experience of playing the game, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to just load the game and play a little just to get a feel for the game. This turned out to be a bad idea. I instantly LOVED the game. I found myself playing the game a little bit each night and this led me to completely forgetting about the challenge I still had to finish before it was time to write this report. Shameful, I know. Around the time I began playing Shadow of Mordor, I’ve also been dealing with some personal issues, which I won’t be openly writing about here. The last thing I really felt like doing to cope with them was to play Trials and Tribulations. Shadow of Mordor offered me aggression and infinite amounts of stabbing and assassinating Uruks to help me through what I needed to deal with. See, and people say video games are a waste of time. It’s a fun kind of therapy when you need it!

This leads me to what happens with video game challenge number eleven. I’m aware I’m actually close to finishing Trials and Tribulations. To give up on even trying to finish it now is not in my nature. I said I’m going to finish it, damn it, and I’m gonna make good on that promise! Doesn’t matter if I keep failing a hundred times over to get there. I know I will succeed. I’ll be extending the challenge into August and this time I’ll be more focused.

Thank you for putting up with my off the tangent, strange video game report this month. I decided it was better to be honest and actually write something that goes beyond, “Meh. I failed at completing this challenge. Who cares? Move on.” My readers deserve better than that and it’ll inspire me to do better next time. Wish me luck!

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5 thoughts on “An Unconventional Video Game Progress Report With A Dash Of Honesty

  1. It’s really cool you’re working on a novel and pursuing your dream! I love reading your blog and look forward to your posts. I’ve always admired how consistent you are at updating this blog, and it’s inspiring to know you’re making time for creative writing now too! Sometimes it does take sacrifices in other areas, I think. Blogging and especially video games are so time-consuming, as much as I love them.

    It’s funny, I wrote a novel in college when I was 19 (just for me, it’s really bad!) and then didn’t come close to finishing another one until recently… like 9 years later. I know what you mean with how hard it is to make time for creative writing after you’re done with school.

    Good luck with all of it. Hopefully we’ll get to read your novel someday!!

    1. Thanks! 🙂 Sometimes, I’m not even sure how I’m able to do everything I typically want to do, but I think as long as you love doing what you do you’ll find a way. I also credit sheer will and dedication to keep the blog as consistent as I have been.

      The process of writing a novel is really hard and scary. I often get the sense of wanting to quit and forget I even set out to do this crazy task in the first place, but then I remember I’ve gotten through worse and I’m capable of working hard to get to where I need to go. Besides, I think I’d regret it more if I never gave this and myself a chance. So we’ll see how this goes! And if I somehow succeed at being a published author, I really do hope you’ll get to read it too. A fantasy book in the works!

  2. This is so cool! I mean, it kind of stinks that gaming may have to take a backseat for you, but the games will be there when you get back to them. 🙂 While I have done my share of creative writing, only once did I turn that into something that could have become a novel. In high school I wrote a fantasy story about a kid and his robot sidekick, and I’m sure if I still had the draft today, I’d probably gag. (I even drew pictures for it any everything, jhaha!) But I love hearing about others taking the time to delve into novel-writing themselves. I wish you nothing but the best as you work back to finding your creative writing spark!

    1. I remember you discussed your dabblings in creative writing in a blog post once. I guess it’s only natural that our older selves will roll our eyes at our younger selves now for writing so terribly, poorly, or just having weird imaginations at the time! 🙂

      But thank you for the encouragement! I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to juggle the video games and my book, but yeah, my priority now is getting the draft done. I really came to a point in my life where I can either let my dream stay a dream I never fully went after or I can just do it. I mean, if bad writing such as Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey miraculously got book deals, then there has to be a chance for me, right? Except my writing will be way better! Hopefully. I’ve also been inspired by people who keep working hard at their dream, fail a few times, but they keep getting up and trying again. Most of the time, they eventually do achieve the success they’ve been hoping to achieve. I rather that be my story, instead of the girl who dreamed about being a writer but never went for it. I can only hope for the best in all of this. 🙂

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