I had a more video game centric post in mind when it came time to writing my usual weekly update. Instead, something a little personal and introspective kept tugging at the deep corners of my brain to be written. I try not to write too much about myself and I try to focus on the geekier or fashion-minded side of things, but I suppose I can tie those usual themes I write about into this post too.
A few days ago I celebrated the birthday of a good high school friend of mine. She just turned twenty-eight, and we went out to celebrate with a mutual, former high school classmate of ours and another friend of hers. As we sat around the table over dinner, we were reminiscing about the good ‘ol days. It’s kind of strange when you already reach the age where you can say, “the good ‘ol days.”
I think when you reach your late 20s and are not too far off from 30, you start realizing how life can just catch up with you. The usual consensus is, “Wow, it was only just yesterday when we were in grade school, high school, college, etc.” You start realizing how things were simpler as a kid. Things just get harder as an adult. We have more responsibilities, schedules get in the way and there is less time to see friends, and we are at the age where people are getting married and having families of their own. I still get an out-of-body type of experience when I hear my friends are getting married or are pregnant with their first child. It feels as if I am an observer of someone else’s life that isn’t mine. I kind of feel like I am still that kid who is playing Barbies and watching Saturday morning cartoons like X-men, Batman, The Little Mermaid, and every great cartoon of the 90’s. Those were the days.
I have mentioned this before in older blog posts how I don’t particularly have too many video game memories in the same way my cousin and other friends do. They can talk about what it was like the first time they ever owned their first home console, or the exhilarating feeling of playing Mario for the first time. Usually when I hear them talk about it, I am fascinated and a little jealous that they can talk about these things with such passion and vividness.
Now, I didn’t live under a complete rock when it came to video games as a child. I played a little of Mario, Mortal Kombat, and even a game I used to love which was Aladdin back when I went over to people’s houses or in my grade school’s after school program. The only reason I never owned a console myself was because my parents didn’t believe in getting me into video games. I was okay with that too, mainly because I didn’t feel the need to have to own one. I was perfectly content with playing Barbie dolls and dress up like most little girls do at that age.
Fast-forward to junior high and high school, the big thing for me was anime and manga, particularly Sailor Moon. It was my obsession when a friend I used to be super close with introduced it to me. I would devour anything and everything that was Sailor Moon. Once I had my fill, I had to seek out more like it. This was when I formed more of a geeky identity. It wasn’t something I wore like a badge of honor in high school, but it was something I quietly enjoyed and gushed over with the only friend out of the group I had who understood the anime/manga love fest.
Where is the point I am trying to make with this post? As I ate dinner and danced the night away with my friend on her birthday, it made me realize how comforting it was to reflect on the time spent as a kid when things were innocent and the possibilities in life were so endless. It’s like coming home to what is safe and familiar. These childhood memories felt safe and familiar. At times I wished I had a time machine where I can go back and relive all those memories again. I really miss my childhood, and I wish I could recapture those moments again. As much as I am focused on pushing my career forward, finding love, and trying to carve out a satisfying life for however long I will be on this earth, I would gladly take the opportunity to be that little girl in my room who loved playing dolls and dress up. If I had known what I know now, I would have slowed down and appreciated being a kid. Simplicity like that is a one time thing, and it’s better to bask in it rather than rush it.
Have you ever been hit with the same nostalgia as I have? What did you miss about growing up? What would you relive if you had the chance to?
simpleek 
Great post! I definitely get nostalgic about my childhood sometimes. It is indeed a simpler time with fewer worries and full of blind hope that the future will be amazing. Especially since when I was little there wasn’t the technology that we take for granted now. You had to use your imagination and come up with your own games to play. I didn’t have my own console either, but my cousin lived in flat downstairs, so I’d go over there to play all the time. You know, despite enjoying memories of my childhood, if I had the choice I wouldn’t go back. Despite all the stresses you gain as you get older, I think the experiences you have as an adult are just precious and can be be just enjoyable, albeit in a different way. Well, maybe for one afternoon, just to watch a bit of Batman and maybe re-watch Home Alone for the millionth time.
I agree with you. I wouldn’t give up being an adult if given the chance, but I would at least want to relive that feeling of being a child again. I watch a family friend’s son going through the wonder and joys of being young and innocent, and I wish I knew what that feeling was like again. Sometimes you forget when you get older. The only problem I have with the advances of technology is the lack of imagination kids have these days. I kind of feel like today’s kids are too reliant on technology to have fun and play. It also stunts imagination in my opinion. I’m glad we didn’t have all this technology when we were kids.
Alas, nostalgia!
Happy belated birthday! I am right there with you – I turn 25 in April – and I feel the exact same as you. I mean, how long ago was I sitting around a lunch table talking about my SNES, my Playstation, and my Dreamcast? How long since my first kiss or date? How long since I was happy to wake up early on a Saturday just for the television?
The nature of life is that it changes. For better or for worse, all things move on over time. We can feel alienated from that track when we aren’t quite ready to embrace it, which is more often than not.Before I had even finished college, I was best man at the wedding of two of my closest friends. The first girl to ever have a crush on me, all the way back in the Third Grade, already has two kids. It is tough when everyone you knew are racking up those Adult Achievement points when you’ve barely started.
Even more difficult and this is something I have only come to recognize recently, I don’t really want to be a full grown up yet. Sure, I’d love to have a career to throw myself into entirely, but not at the expense of all the things I love: reading, games, and good television. Perhaps it is out of fear or perhaps it just because the gravity of my nostalgia is far too strong, but I am not yet ready to completely yield to all of the pressures of being an adult.
Actually, it wasn’t my birthday we were celebrating. It was my friend’s birthday. However, my birthday is coming up in April as well. I will be joining the 28 club soon enough!
I like how you worded people’s lives moving on as “adult achievements.” It does feel like that in a lot of ways, and I have yet to unlock many of those adult achievements in my own personal life. I’m not in any rush to do so either, but it’s weird when you watch others rack up those before you do. Makes you realize that you are on a whole other playing field entirely.
It is scary to be an adult. I do feel as if I’m not quite ready to be an adult sometimes, but then I hope that what experiences I have taken from my childhood will help me become the kind of person I want to be. Maybe even pass those traits and life lessons onto my future kids someday.
Sorry for the misreading. Happy early birthday instead!
Thanks! Same to you too.
I know exactly what you are referring to. It feels so surreal when you talk to friends who are getting married and having kids. I feel like I haven’t even changed all that much since I was young, so I can’t even grasp my head around having a kid or starting a family. It feels so distance to me. I still haven’t fully grasped that I’m already 26 and closing into 30. I just don’t feel that old at all. I feel like I did when I was in highschool. Visibly, I don’t think I’ve aged much either, which adds to this surreal feel of thinking I’ll be 30 in 4 years. I mean, people often think I’m 16-20 so it’s not just my own perception. Anyway, I’m really rambling, but I guess my point was that I know exactly what you are referring to and yes I also get nostalgia for the “good old times”. I had a big rush of it a year ago and ended up watching season 1 and 2 of Hey Arnold as a result. xD Also yes, I loved X-Men too! It was the only super hero show I actually looked forward to watching. It was because it had female super heroines. (I was already a feminist when I was 8! xDDDD ) I watched Sailor Moon back when it first aired, so I believe I was around 10-ish at the time? Also loved it. In fact, I was so obsessed with it that I taped almost all the episodes and would rewatch them like crazy. xD I had video games when I was young. In fact, my dad bought me an NES even though I didn’t even ask for one. I had an NES and Genesis (the latter I actually asked for because my cousins had one) but I only had 1-2 games for each system (my parents were cheap xP ) and all games were platformers (well I also got Mortal Kombat latter), which I was terrible at so I don’t have many fond memories of gaming until late elementary and highschool when I got into the Pokemon craze. Still have my copy of Pokemon Blue too! 😀
Yeah, there are moments when I feel more like a kid than an adult. I also can relate with you on having people see me and they think I’m at least in my late teens or early twenties. It’s funny when I tell them I’m in my late twenties and nearing thirty! I guess I feel younger than I am because I look younger in appearance? Or maybe because people who are younger than me look so much older? I don’t know. Either way, when I reflect on the things we used to grow up with, I can’t believe how many years have gone by when it really feels like I have lived through all of this just yesterday. It’s an insane feeling to have as you age.
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